I used to think that being skinny was the answer to happiness - if I was skinny that meant I would get a boyfriend, be popular, be more confident because I could fit into clothes and that it automatically guaranteed a better life. Truth be told, being thinner now makes me feel a lot healthier, but I can say that some of the most memorable days of my life were ones where I wasn't skinny (not even close).
As you may have heard me talk once or twice, I call myself a "recovering fat kid". It's true - I was severely overweight as a child. I spent the first 20 years of my life in a body that I was never comfortable in. While I was at an un-Godly weight, I tried to never let it affect my confidence, but let's be honest when you're fat you always feel like there is need for improvement and the solution to every problem is being skinny.
Now that I'm a size 6 and not a size 16, I can say from experience that:
- My confidence never changed - I have always believed that I can achieve what I set my mind to and the scale never dictated what I could or couldn't do. Confidence is something that we always work on, regardless of what our weight is and in fact sometimes it's those that are heavier who have a sense of self worth that teaches me how to be confident in front of others.
- My weight never affected my ability to have relationships - While I met my husband when I was already in a single digit size, that never stopped me from having other boyfriends or holding relationships previous to him. I love that attraction is defined by each person because while our surroundings may influence what should be "attractive", we grow to learn what beauty really looks like and shape our own opinions.
- Quality friendships are worth more than the quantity: I had a wonderful group of friends growing up and to this day they are still my best friends. I am extremely grateful to have an amazing group of people in my life and 100 more friends would never replace the quality of friendship we've had over the last 20 years.
- Fashion is available at every size: Fashion is a self-expression and it isn't defined by the size one wears. Instead, fashion is defined by the person who wears it. It's so cliche I know, but it's true. While it was a challenge to find anything beyond size 14, sometimes a $20 dress from Target gets more compliments than a $2000 dress from Herve Leger. Long story short, feel good in what you wear - don't rely on what you wear to make you feel good.
While I am extremely happy with my weight now, I know that being skinny doesn't automatically guarantee you a better life. Don't get me wrong, struggling with weight and overcoming a lot of the shit that comes with it is a challenge, but what us fat kids don't see is that sometimes the skinny folks are up against their own personal battles. Being a healthy weight is encouraged, but now I know that being skinny isn't necessarily the answer to an overweight person's problems.
Throwback Thought is a new series exploring random thoughts that I once thought to be true.